My Life As a Dog

 


If I was to return as a dog...

I’d be sniffing arse all day long... 

I’d be chasing every lady dog... 

They’d all be singing my song...


If I was to return as a dog...

I’d be chasing every car...

I’d be biting the mailman on the rear... 

And drinking beer at the corner bar...


When the day was almost over... 

And my owner finally comes home... 

I would meet him at the back door... 

In my mouth would be my bone...


I’d jump on him with excitement...

And give him a big sloppy lick...

Then I would sit down on top of him...

And start to sniff his smelly wick...


When he had enough of my love...

I’d take him on a neighborhood stroll...

And once we finished walking...

He would put Kibbles n’ Bits into my bowl...


When it was finally time for resting...

I would snuggle at the end of his bed...

And as I closed my eyes to rest...

Dreams of lady dogs would dance in my head...


© 2022 Jeffrey Pipes Guice

My Wonder Years: A Book

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Warren Easton High School

Image
  I loved going to Warren Easton. I remember my very first day, going straight to the gym and getting myself into a pick up basketball game with Kenny “Kid Funk” Moss and Kerry “Cooley High” Washington, two guys who happened to play on the school basketball team. We kept winning games together, as a team, and I felt really good playing with these guys. While they didn’t yet know my name, they kept calling me “Pistol Pete” because of my moves and jump shot. Yes, I still had it. We finally lost to Richard “Crip” Simms’ team. As we sat in the bleachers waiting to get back in, they asked me about my story and how I got to Easton, and so on.  As high school kids do, they ended up telling me about which of the cheerleaders they had slept with, etc., which led to a discussion/brag session about our favorite lines and moves that we were “known for” with the ladies. After many stories, some half truths and some hysterical lies, I ended up with the nickname “Peter the Eater” for the res...
Read more

My Senior Year

Image
  I still had my fake ID from East Jefferson High School, which said I was now 19 years old, so I applied for a weekend job as a bar back at Bruno‘s Tavern on Maple Street, the home of bartender legend, George Rankin, and second home to Fletcher, the police guard who protected Audubon Place residents. This was great news on so many levels. As one could imagine, I obviously couldn’t stand still just being a bar back, so eventually I assigned myself the job of bouncer and late night bartender while the other bartenders were taking a break. Again, as one could imagine, I immediately started letting in all of my Uptown friends that I had made through Walker and Bill, including Arthur Fort, Tony Benjamin, John Denegre, Max Hart, Danny Pick, Larkin Selman, and so many others. My drink of choice became the gin and tonic, with a wedge of lime, and since I was making them for myself, I immediately developed a pretty good habit of drinking five or six each night. It was either Walker or Lark...
Read more

My Oyster Love Affair

Image
  My love affair started early... Just a skinny sixteen year old boy... I was working at Stephen & Martin’s... I was willing, but acting somewhat coy... An old black oyster shucker... Mr. Carl was his name... “Boy, once you try one of these... Your life ain’t never gonna be da same!” Being coaxed on by the patrons... I stared at the meat on the half shell... “Suck her up, boy!” yelled Mr. Montgomery...  “She’ll be the first of many, I do tell!” Sitting cross legged next to Mr. Montgomery...  Sat his perfectly beautiful wife... She licked her lips and offered a wink... “This was going to be a special day in your life...” She picked up the shell from the marble top bar...  Held it gently between her thumb and finger... I could smell the scent of her exotic perfume...  My boyish thoughts were starting to linger... As everyone was now watching... I stared down at the gooey blob... I could feel my confidence growing...  As my head began to slowly bob... ...
Read more