Five Good Leads

 

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.” The priest asks, “Is that you, little Patrick McDonald?”

“Yes, Father, it is.”

“And who was the girl you were with?”

“I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

“Well, Patty, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Shawn O’Grady?”

“I cannot say.”

“Was it Aoife McDonogh?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Was it Roisin McIlhenny?”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

“Was it Sinead Fitzgerald?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Was it Shannon O’Toole, then?”

“Please, Father! I cannot tell you.”

The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”

Patrick walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

“Four months vacation and five good leads...”